Honest movie reviews?
Yes, these are honest movie reviews. While other people may get bribed for giving sponsors or movie companies good movie reviews for their movies, I can honestly say I've never received one.
Heck, I've never even gotten offered a ride as a kind of bribe to go see a movie and give a good review of it. In many cases, I've gotten on my bicycle and rode it to the movie theater. How many movie reviewers can say that? LOL
If you want to read a review written by somebody who's been given money to tell people that the movie's a good movie, or even just transcribed what they were told to say about it, by all means, try another site. You won't find that kind of thing here. When I review a movie, I tell you what I think of it, not what somebody else tells me I should think. From reading the reviews on other sites, many of them may not have even seen the movie. It's either that, or there's one person out there who wrote down things they thought they saw, and many of the other reviewers are copying it...
The movie reviews you find here are written by me, not somebody else, and I've actually watched the movie I review. Or in a few cases, the trailer, but when I do that, I tell you so. Not going to lie to you and tell you I saw the movie and I didn't, and write a movie review about it. I'll leave that to some of the professionals. :-P
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THIS PAGE'S INDEX
(Now
this
should be easier than scrolling down to what you want, eh?)
Theater
complaints. I really hate going to the theater
sometimes. Here's some of the reasons I like to stay home so much.
Pre-recorded videos complaint. Some people still haven't figured
this one out yet.
Favorite
movies. Some of my all-time faves. Your tastes probably
differ from mine.
Stupid
things I've noticed in movies. They don't get much dumber than
this.
Movie reviews. Some
of the movies I've seen and my comments on them.
Theater
complaints
Too expensive for one thing. What is it now? $6.00 or more just to get in to a new movie, another $5.x or $6.x for refreshments for just a medium drink and a medium sized bag of popcorn and their 'specials' aren't that special. Here's a real dumb (even for humans!) system: Get the special with a great deal on refills of your soda and popcorn, go in the theater and watch about half of the show, come back out to get a refill on pop and they make you wait in line again making you miss more of your movie. Why this is so stupid is that the movie that the other people waiting in line to see hasn't even started yet.
Another complaint about the theater: Having to watch the stupid commercials (I've heard they used to put cartoons on before the movie started in the past. Shows how greedy some people are I guess) on the screen until your movie starts (where's the remote? I can't change the channel or fast forward. This sucks!) which never starts at the right time anyway. Just for kicks what I'd like to see is everybody hang outside of the doors to a theater until the movie actually starts. Post a sentry inside the doors if you have to. ;-)
Pre-recorded videos complaints
DVDs that have advertising in them before you can get to the menu. News flash for you guys: If we wanted to buy other movies, we would've bought them. Forcing us to put up with your ads turns us off to those movies, and I make it a point to never buy a movie that I'm forced to watch the advertisement for.
The tape speed isn't marked on the package! More than likely that means that it was recorded in EP mode and it's gonna sound and/or look like crap! If it doesn't say SP speed on the box, I don't buy it! You can't take vid tapes back for a refund if you've opened them. Which is the only way you'll know for sure what speed they're recorded in! Talk about shafting the customers! :-(
It's taking too long to come out with cheaper DVD recorders. They already have them for home use, we've just gotta wait until they drop down in price. Which could take a while considering how long we've been waiting (since 1905 in one case) for other helpful technology.
Some of my favorite movies
Highlander, The Short Circuit movies (especially the first one with Stephanie in it! Not too many humans can give you a grinly (a grinly is a smile from the heart) that well), The Princess Bride, Miracle Beach (the female genie played by Ami Dolenz was another great smiler. Wonder if she's related to one of the old Hollywood Vampires? Hmm...), Steel Dawn (mostly because of the cool swords and the fact that it was a post-apocalyptic movie. It was pretty slow though and didn't go into much of the history of what caused the desolation), Labyrinth, Omega Man, Real Genius, Harvey, Escape from New York, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Electric Dreams, Spaced Invaders, Howard the Duck, Mannequin, Addams Family, Big Man on Campus, Riders of the Storm, Tank Girl (she had some wicked one-liners), Strange Brew, Xanadu, and Rock & Rule AKA Rock 'n' Rule. Which finally came out on DVD... That's some of them anyway.
Stupid things I've noticed in movies
(Besides
what I've listed in the movie reviews themselves)
In almost all the movies I've seen that had someone fighting for their lives in different situations: They knock out or kill one of the bad guys, but don't bother to pick up the weapon(s) they've dropped. They do this even when they know that they're still in danger! I would! Oh, yeah!!! Even if you can't bring yourself to hurt someone that's trying to hurt you, they may not know that and displaying a weapon may make them keep their distance.
Potential victims standing around watching something or somebody coming towards them that they're fairly certain means them harm, but not running or grabbing something to defend themselves with until it's almost too late, and in some cases, is too late. You want to scream at them saying "What are you going to do, run, or just stare at them until they get close enough to kill you? Stupid humans!"
An
American Werewolf in Paris. (1997).
Barb
Wire. (1996).
Beavis
and Butthead do America. (1996).
Doctor
Dolittle. (1998)
Dragonheart.
(1996)
Elf.
(2003)
The
Fifth Element. (1997)
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. (2005)
Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. (1981)
Star
Trek: First Contact. (1996)
Independence
Day. (1996)
Paulie.
(1998)
Clive
Barker's Saint Sinner. (2002)
The
Stupids. (1996)
Titanic.
(1997)
Twelve
Monkeys. (1995)
Underworld.
(2003)
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